I don't know why it is so much a part of who I am that whenever life gets murky, I must assume a) that it's my fault, and therefore b) I have to/can fix it. Anyone who's lived for a while will tell you that these things are not a given, but do I ever listen to them? Apparently not.

The last two days have been dark and bitter, and not for any outside reason. I guess you could say God and I had a temporary difference of opinion about certain things. I don't know what that's like for Him, but it leaves me feeling like there's no air in the room. It just goes to show that even for the ridiculously blessed, life is NOT EASY. Being a grown-up is just darn hard.

I have, however, made a few discoveries as I begin to breathe again. The first is that you have to ask for help (and then you have to take it and work with it when it comes). And no, you don't get to pick how your life's going to go. I will probably be learning that lesson over and over again. Fortunately, Love is patient. I think a changed heart is God's biggest miracle. The second thing I learned is that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be today. No clue about tomorrow, but for today at least I have a purpose and I can do some real good. Souls out there need me, and a broken me will do just fine.
Thank God for that!
For reals. Thank you, God.

Love, Sarah