Friday, December 25, 2009

For Adrienne. Merry Christmas!

Ten ways to know if you are a minor character in a movie/tv show...

-Your conversations consist largely of random expository information (How've you been, Bob, since your wife died in mysterious circumstances last winter?)

-You have only one name

-You are the third fastest pilot/driver/draw/etc. (the second fastest is usually the villain)

-You face off against the hero after his initial ignominious defeat and before the climactic battle

-Your backstory can be explained in a single sentence

-You say things like "There are four of us and one of you..."

-Your bullets are proven ineffective against the monster and you just keep shooting

-You are the only girl, boy, foreigner, rocket scientist, person with a cool accent, person in a wheelchair, or lonely martian in the group

-You are defined by a single endearing quirk, and you find and fall in love with a person possessing that same quirk with only a significant look, a word or two, and thirty seconds of 'bowmp-chicka-wow-wow' music

-Your only line is 'Grrr!'/'Aaaaaah!'

So there you go.
Merry Christmas all!

(Tune in next time for the Minor Character's Survival Guide)

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Eve

Hello friends! I am writing to you all from my mother's computer in Ridgecrest. It is Christmas Eve, and we are all in our respective happy places (and by 'we' I mean my mother and father and me). Mom is sitting under a light blanket, looking up pertinent verses to augment an upcoming Bible study lesson, Dad is dusting and rearranging the eclectic memorabilia that constitute the full extent of my family's concept of interior decorating, and I am just soaking up all the comforting family ethos that makes me 'charmingly quirky' to friends and 'just plain weird' to students. Whenever I am home (Ridgecrest), it's like a small but significant part of my insides unwinds, my inner kaleidascope aligns, some sort of deep-seated constant dissonance resolves, and things just make sense. Dad is looking at one of his favorite books, and regaling us with little known facts about the Ancient Celts and their subtle influence on Roman sculpture, when he informs us that he would really like to learn to speak Gaelic someday. Mom just sits next to me, radiating peace. I hope your Christmas Eve is just as lovely.